i permit you to call me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
