Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We have started to decorate penises.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
