Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
