Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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