you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're a waste of cheezeits
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
