I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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