shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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