I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he puts the penis in happiness.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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