whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
