just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
