if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
