I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just found puke in my bra..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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