He asked to "fluff my boner.."
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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