Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
