There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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