it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
