Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
