The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
