I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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