she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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