I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
