i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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