Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize