We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
