So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
