She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
