Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
