I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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