just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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