I wish I could punch you in the face.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize