Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Even my vagina gasped.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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