And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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