i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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