Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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