The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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