the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
