Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
