My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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