Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
