i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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