Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
