Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Who died my cat blue again?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
His nipple licking is glorious
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