that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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