i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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