Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
