And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
