I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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