Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
