I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
