genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
