I want to make a zoo with you.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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