Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
