The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
