Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
